Overgrowth

“We are, I am, you are, by cowardice or courage, the one who find our way back to this scene carrying a knife, a camera, a book of myths, in which our names do not appear.”

– Adrienne Rich, Diving into the Wreck

Here’s another Garden

Another Well lying, unfalsifiably deep,

Overflowing.. Trickling drops roll

Down the mossy cobblestone

Absorbed whence they came,

Back, into the dark ground

Refreshing dying weeds,

Brambles, and that single

Gnarled tree, still fruitless.

What happened here?

I wonder, as the Well erupts

Some invisible force propels me

To the brink, to drink, drink, drink,

Absorbed whence I came, refreshing

Dying gods and monsters, black arms

Drawing me back into the dark.

All the answers are here, I’m certain

If only I dive deeply enough,

I might find the source, and link it

Might I bring it back to my Garden,

The one that isn’t dead, the one

That little girl frolicked freely through,

Unconcerned with evaporation,

The one never neglected, never decayed;

No overgrown invaders deeply rooted

Into impassable walls of thorns..

Choking, gasping toxic air, I find myself

In another Garden, but not the Garden;

Not the one left behind, nor sought,

Under another sky, some new place

Where the Well still lingers,

Consuming time, space, and matter

What is my purpose? It erupts again,

With it, memories of that day she climbed,

Reached for the fruit, and fell

Fingers clenched to that bell-shaped prize.

Back again, I feel the impact of the fall

But not the fruit it was worth..

Sorrow without joy; Doubt without

Certainty; A woman without fruit

In a Garden without life, drowning

Wishing for death, if only for the weeds..

I tear at them furiously, every root pulled

Leaves behind seeds for a hopeless future

Without space to grow, but I keep going

I stop looking to the Well for answers,

And work, though I know not what I do,

A Garden becomes a Wasteland,

Just dirt, the Well, the tree, and me

Where I carve these words, humbly

And offer my fruit to the tree.

Lying Lights

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.

Electric glow

Burning on,

It’s no longer dark

Before any dawn,

Take me out too

To these worlds beyond

Where nobody’s hollow,

Where we can all belong,

Where we’ll all follow,

Twisted and shaped:

With certainty swallowed

Through troughs of our hate.

Confirm us, absorb us

Oh Light, won’t you turn us?

Lift us out of this hell

And make us, not spurn us?

When you ring the voltaic bell–

Will it fill us with certainty?

Not doubt, not sorrow,

But safety and security?

We’ll make believe in you

If you show us a way to be

And we’ll dance together

Lost lovers in empathy

Gone, like evening suns

Sorrowful, lonesome, afraid

When these lying lights go out

And truth finds us in the shade.

Ode on a Tree Disserved

“Oh, but a tree, but a tree..”

Look at this tree,

Beautiful and serene,

Perfect, but for the way

It’s bent to serve me

Crimson leaves so ready

To take in this moment

Weathered by the oncoming storm..

Our being here obscures its majesty

Our attempt to capture it is a disservice

These words are but a fool’s claim on glory

For a tree so perfectly defiant

Stood, in stark contrast

To storms ever encroaching..

Imagine if we were to remove ourselves from it:

Were it allowed to stand for itself,

It would stand. Were it allowed

To speak for itself, it would speak.

Were it allowed to sing its glory,

It would sing, but as it stands

It falls to me, where I tarry with enormity

Braying “Oh, but a tree, but a tree..”

Paving the Way

“By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.” Proverbs 25:15

Best intentions, bear us go

Lead us up from down below

Where hollow lies hide hollow lives

In Heavenly woes and spiritual demise,

Pave roads out as we pave them in

We’ll meet in the middle, to sin again.

For should I lie when I should break,

I pray forbearance my tongue to take

For the sovereign thumb we’re living under

Could only be moved by broken bone–

So up we go, with the best intentions

Climbing up, we bay, “We’ll end this!”

But in the end, we’ll fail like the rest

Living our lives in ignorant bliss

As hard tongues betray selfish hearts

And the Prince presses us to our place.

Shards

“When you look at a piece of delicately spun glass you think of two things: how beautiful it is and how easily it can be broken.”

Forgive me what I did not know,

I thought you were a man,

But you were something more..

I met you on

The bell-strewn shore,

You took my hand, and said,

“This is what I’m here for, and

There is no time to live without,

So take this, you will work it out

A broken piece of a broken, broken self,”

Reflecting on and on and on,

I took it with my fingers crossed,

But even that you knew..

Wise Woman, I’ve come back..

And like the others on your track,

I’m laying down my bell..

For when all of me was broken down

I saw the pieces swept to hell

Through that tiny piece

Of you you’d left with me..

So before I left them all behind,

I turned and swept them up inside

To show this bell-strewn shore

Something beautiful and new.

Saying, “This is what I am here for too,

And there’s no time to live without,

So take these pieces of me,

And you will work it out.”

Goodbye broken, little doubts.

Fawning

“Someone who smiles too much with you can sometimes frown too much with you at your back.” – Michael Bassey Johnson

I want to please you,

To appease your pain,

Drain out the anxiety

Plaguing your brain,

Fawning, I’m dawning

Desperately trying

To be– everything

To everyone, hope

A prayer, for you

Solemn wishes, for you

Lingering thoughts

For you, shared concern

For you, that need..

To never be like me.

To never endure it all,

To never have to see

That truth buried

Deep, deep inside..

Where I can’t save you,

Where you have to want it,

Where you have to let go,

Of everything you are

And think that you know,

Be shattered, be broken

Be mended but destroyed,

Be obsequious, be a fawn

Flatter me with your will

For us to survive, be mine

Be mine, be everything I need,

Keep me always in mind

Keep on trying to save me–

And when the mask slips,

Cover it in kindness, bury it

Under the unkempt rug

We both know is there

Underneath the facade,

Where unhealing pain lies

Provoking lies from you,

Lies like you can save me

Lies like healing prayers

Lies like traumatic memories

Reminding you, in echoes

The past is always there–

I say, let it lie there

Let it lie and ferment

And rather than draw lies

From it, create truth instead

Create it in words, create it

In art, create it in music,

Create it in farce, create it

In drama, roleplay and LARP

Create joy with the sorrow

Let it all resonate out

Don’t pour it into others

Let it flow out of yourself

In babbling brooks linked,

Awaiting the day, when finally

Thirsty fawns come to drink.

Cognizance

A portrait of humanity inspired by Gertrude Stein.

Something happened, someone wrote something,

Some who wrote something happened to see something,

Some lied about some seen thing, some lied about knowing,

Some saw something, something some wrote about,

Some lied about something some didn’t see,

Some lied about something some did see,

Some lied at that instant, some lied later

Some lied later and at that instant,

Some lied to some close to them, 

Some close to some certainly lied to some close to some,

Some close to some lied later to keep some close to them,

Some never asked questions, some punished questions,

Some questions never asked left some uncertain,

Some were uncertain but certainly trusted someone,

Some certainly trusted someone enough to never ask questions,

Some did not know some lied about something,

Some certainly knew some lied about something,

Some killed because some saw something some didn’t see,

Some saw something, some certainly saw something,

Some were afraid of being wrong about something,

Some were afraid of some who certainly saw something,

Some were certainly afraid of some who certainly saw something,

Some were certainly wrong some were certain,

Some certainly killed for certainly being wrong,

Some certainly died for being certainly wrong,

Some certainly killed for being certainly right,

Some opened seals, some certainly opened seals,

Some certainly opened seals opened certain gates,

Some gates were certainly closed for a reason

Some gates were closed for a certain reason,

Some opened seals opened closed gates,

Some opened seals opened the lake of fire,

Some could be forgiven, some did not know,

Some knew some already were forgiven,

Some certainly knew some already were forgiven,

Some knew some forgiven could do anything,

Some knew some forgiven could certainly do anything,

Some certainly knew some could do anything,

Some certainly took advantage of some knowing,

Some certainly took advantage of some need,

Some needed to take advantage of some need,

Some needed certainty to take advantage of some need,

Some did not know what some knew,

Some did not know what some did not know,

Some did know what some did not know,

Some claimed to know what some did not know,

Some knew what some claimed to know,

Some were cast in, some were cast off,

Some certainly knew what they did not know

Some were certainly left behind with not knowing

Some were blissfully left behind with not knowing

Some blissfully left behind what some certainly knew,

Some certainly knew some were left behind closed gates,

Some blissfully certain knew no one ever knew,

Some certainly knew something blissful happened,

Some certainly blissful knew something unknowable,

Some certainly knew something blissful,

Some blissfully knew certainty unknowable,

Something happened, someone read something.