Fawning

“Someone who smiles too much with you can sometimes frown too much with you at your back.” – Michael Bassey Johnson

I want to please you,

To appease your pain,

Drain out the anxiety

Plaguing your brain,

Fawning, I’m dawning

Desperately trying

To be– everything

To everyone, hope

A prayer, for you

Solemn wishes, for you

Lingering thoughts

For you, shared concern

For you, that need..

To never be like me.

To never endure it all,

To never have to see

That truth buried

Deep, deep inside..

Where I can’t save you,

Where you have to want it,

Where you have to let go,

Of everything you are

And think that you know,

Be shattered, be broken

Be mended but destroyed,

Be obsequious, be a fawn

Flatter me with your will

For us to survive, be mine

Be mine, be everything I need,

Keep me always in mind

Keep on trying to save me–

And when the mask slips,

Cover it in kindness, bury it

Under the unkempt rug

We both know is there

Underneath the facade,

Where unhealing pain lies

Provoking lies from you,

Lies like you can save me

Lies like healing prayers

Lies like traumatic memories

Reminding you, in echoes

The past is always there–

I say, let it lie there

Let it lie and ferment

And rather than draw lies

From it, create truth instead

Create it in words, create it

In art, create it in music,

Create it in farce, create it

In drama, roleplay and LARP

Create joy with the sorrow

Let it all resonate out

Don’t pour it into others

Let it flow out of yourself

In babbling brooks linked,

Awaiting the day, when finally

Thirsty fawns come to drink.

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